Life fades, memories remain (School days)

I remember my 1^st day in the school, it was 1989, June. I was admitted in Jr.Kg in Kamla high school.

My class-room was on the 3^rd floor, toward left hand side as soon as we go upstairs  the 2^nd room. You know, at times memories play tremendous role in one’s life that we either remember everything or nothing!!

 I remember my 1^st day in school when mummy had dropped me in the class,my tears were continously rolling down my cheeks as I never wanted to go to the school; I loved my house, my brothers and my cousins. I always wanted to be in between them only. On the other hand no one else other than me was crying. I know it is strange to believe but that is the fact !!!

I remember rightly I was  the last student to enter the class. My luck, the bench right in front of the class teacher Mrs. Gomes was vacant beside Deepa Parmar; to introduce her, she is my 1^st friend in school when I was 3yrs and 10 months old. Right behind our bench were twins sisters Jimmy and Jolly.

Though I don’t remember their faces, and has  blur memories, but I remember they were extremly beautiful. The only thing that differentiated them were a mole in Jimmy’s right eye.

And offcourse Vikrant Sawant the one whom I called brother, (my childhood brother, luckily still in touch, thanks to facebook) and Nishapal. Soon after around few months she became my best friend.

Couldn’t forget my first day at school where I was full in  tears and like the most pampered child was insisting my mother to be beside me and she made an excuse to go to the washroom and then vanished.!!

My teacher within the 1^st week of the school made me the class representative which we used to call as the monitor of the class. Memories they play such an amazing role in one’s life !! Isn’t it ??

I cannot forget my school, my teachers and even my class-mates and friends.

Nishapal passed away due to cancer when we were in the 1st standard and Mrs. Rekha Gandhi was our class teacher.

I had lost interest in making friends, but yes, studies used to be my top most priority. My teachers made me the class representatives all through my school and college (except 8^th till 10^th std).

Speeches, elocution, poem recitation, singing….etc..etc…so many activties I was indulged in, but never had even dropped my precentage.

Later, hit the bad phase of my life, during 8^th std, we shifted to Vasai, may be because of distance from school, or the family conditions, dropped in studies, lost my father 11yrs before on 11^th June,when my school was about to re-open and was about to enter the 10^th std. It was that utmost days for me to deal with! But as it is rightly said; “nothing is permanent in life” and so are the difficulties.

I fought back the difficulties and again topped my class during std 12^th and left school with flying colors.

Mrs. Rekha Shahani teacher (now the principal of the school) had helped me a lot during my school days; though it be school fees, school uniform or clothes.!! I am thankful to her and even other teachers namely; Rama Rajendran, Prakash Sir, Mrs. Varsha Parwani, Mrs.Albina…. and everyone else who supported.

Albiet, how much ever I write; it will still be less and not sufficient to narrate my school days and describe my school. So here I bid adieu and conclude that school days were the best days of my life, and I would treasure it for as long as I am alive…!!!!

Fear of loosing.

Want to do something in life !! Guess this is what every mind thinks! Okay, to be realistic not everyone but most of us. Yesterday was our billrun day and today I came in half day to the office as had a compansate half day leave.

But surprisingly; I woke up around the same time as everyday. Later, I realised that I have an off and so tried taking a small nap for some more while.

When I got ready with my tiffin in the bag and shoes on, left home around 9:30 in  the morning.

While I was travelling, had a thought in mind. I don’t know how to share that; but confusion came over me. Really really confused. But am sure that I will do it, irrespective of the fear in my concious still I will do I, infact now I will do it. You know what ?As soon as I  think about it, I feel butterflies in my stomach.!!!!!!

Alright, let me do that thing and write further how did I feel..!!!

  

Well maybe..!

I had a great day today. It wasn’t because I accomplished something exceptional or did something great; but at times we feel happy for no reason may be same is with me.

Our heart and mind looks for something small yet big to keep us happy. At times a smile from a passer-by or at times  a ‘hello’ from a person for whom you long awaited for, or a ‘hi’ from a person whom you never expected .

Maybe I am feeling good is because since past 3- 4 days was able to talk with my love for more than 8 – 9 hours or maybe my mind is relaxed and excited for my brother’s wedding which is just approaching. Whatever it is; I am happy and my heart is at peace!

I wonder at times why inspite of having everything, people are still not happy!

My mother always taught us to be happy and satisfied with whatever comes along the way of life; off course that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to accomplish our goals of life.

But what is the reason for me to tell you all these?

Maybe because I am just too happy today! And may be because it is time for my brother’s wedding and I am just engrossed in planning and preparing!!

Raining season – A joyous season

Felt the environment to be different and very very pleasing.

After a very long time I am feeling it this way; while travelling I observed that along the way the mountains that are standing besides they were looking so beautiful; with trees on it that were swing and making sounds. Fog covered us that it was very difficult to view road at even a distance of about 10 feets.

I was observing that the bus front glass also was captured by fog and it wasn’t cleared properly.

When travelled a distance the bridge came which connects our Thane district (western line) with Mumbai, ohh !! it was an AMAZING VIEW!! You wouldn’t imagine how it looked. It felt as if mountains; the river and the clouds are awaiting for MY FRIEND ‘THE SUN’; but HE has already decided to take an off for the day allowing the RAIN to fall upon us and make OUR MOTHER ‘THE .EARTH’ to be at peace and calm down.

Okay, it doesn’t mean that Earth doesn’t like Sun or they have a conflict between them, it is just that our Earth due to our misfortune or mistakes have become so warm that if not controlled might /can take us away frOm her.

Alright let me not go in the  philosophical mode  but yes, I personally believe on a very serious note that we should take care of my mother ‘The Earth’ by keeping it at peace and controlling everything that will / is affecting it.

Coherence

Everything around is coherence and is coherent. Why? Well I do not have an answer to it now, but the intrinsic values talk about this now.  I feel that now is the only truth!! 

Well the reason to be optimist I really do not know. Okay now I have decided something!!

Yes really, I have decided to be for one self for one day tomorrow, take all the time to reason a reason for myself!! 

Life is as it is…….!!!

I was cleaning my book’s shelf today and came across the book “Change your thoughts, change your Life” as I was finding a little low moral since few days thought of moving my eyes through this book.

As I went through this book, I realized that my life has changed over the past few days, maybe months or maybe over past few years.  It talks about the Tao Te Ching the way of life.  My mind has calmed down; trust me I am finding a way out for my life. I wasn’t like this before, but yes I am such now!!

Out of the verses, verse 15^th in this book talks about ‘living an unhurried Life’, although I was finding it difficult to understand the way, but after spending good quality time over reading it; my mind is at peace.

I don’t know about others but I too lived a hurried life till now, or may be still living it. So many thoughts cross my mind at a go and it is difficult to find solutions for all! Though how hard I try to manage my thought process but still it manipulates and feels overconfident that I can solve anything and everything, but the truth as per this book is let the Tao show you the way and let things come and go.

We shouldn’t limit ourselves to the comings and goings in this mortal world as the truth of life is one.

Was about to sleep........but realized..!!

I was about to sleep now; but as soon as we started our dinner; heard a big sound as if a cracker bursting, can you guess what was that ?? It was the bright lovely sparling silver lining from the sky up..it was the lightning..........
And suddenly rain started pouring heavily, wow....i am so glad that I am alive this day to see this beautiful rain.

I just love this season.......may be though because i am born in this season....but i love and would pray that it should rain the same way throughout this season.!

Welcome rain.....!!!

As days pass by, and years to come
I venture in my heart, sweet colors earned

Dim light above like a shadows fall
I have dreamed to fulfill all

Lost in the melody of birds sweet sound
Rains fall and wraps us all

Come down oh eh
We're waiting for you
Come along and bring some few

Entangled and lost and wrenching without you
You showed your power to the world so blue

Come down oh eh
We're waiting for you
Come along and bring some good news.!!!  

Well just like that

Today after a very long time watched movie along with office colleagues. For initial few moments it was bizarre, yes seriously, I was not so comfortable but later got into the grove of the fun.

Ever since I quit my job from DHL Express in 2008 I experienced this now. We usually used to hang-out like these so often, but absolutely stopped offlet. Slowly and gradually there is a tremendous change in me. My nature and my thoughts have shaped up completely different and have taken an image as if like a closed bun.  I also developed an inferiority complex. A sense of self-consciousness have started mounting up and slowly and steadily completely lost in it.

Yes! This is a new transformation in me which I lately realized. I realized that I am not the same person which used to be 2 yrs down the lane. I really don’t know what happens to me; though at-times I am open and frank enough but on the other hand become so self-conscious. I wonder whether am I the same person or have I left myself way back and wonder will I be ever the same again……….!!!!!!!!!

A Wish

Everytime I open my inbox

I wish I have a message from you

My eyes awaits

My heart be in your glue.!

When will arrive that moment

When it will be only me and  you

I will await for that juncture

When heaven will be in my shoes..!!!

Although I might not be so interesting

And neither pinnacle for you

But still my soul craves

And like a bee for honey

I am in search of you..!!

Come down in my heart and you will know

how much I feel for you

I am awaiting for the juncture

When heaven will be in my shoes..!!!

Terrific fret – 2

The next day morning when we realised that we were in the mid of this large spread mud around.

Invariably I prompted immediately. I could  sense to be in some danger ahead. My colleagues who were along too agreed with me. With this context we understood the news that we had read in the newspaper a day before; that some external bodies were attempting and had attempted in past also to create some problem for us. Nonetheless we still moved forward for this picnic.

I burst out with tears in my eyes as had promised my mother that shall return before sunset a day before. The cellphone had also conged off as battery was down, we were all helpless and couldn’t even get in touch with our flocks back at home.

We laboured hard to get out of these huge farm but failed too. My colleague Jayesh went down from the bus and he got stucked in the mud. He was drowing down; it was as if we are being cursed by that person; and everyone of us will die soon.

That person whom we met along the way back home. He was panting for breath and He in his groove of indiscreet behaviour gave him vineger to drink. I though tried hard stopping my friend to do such with that innocent old man;  as he looked like a baba (a religious person) but failed too as till then he had already given him to drink. And till the time our eyes could move away from him; he gave away his last breath. While giving up his last breath he murmured something, he was cursing all of us for the cruelity that we showed towards him.

Uff !! was that a curse for our life?? Or was that a forgiveness for our bad deeds ?? We are ignornant to these but yes we are facing something adverse at this point.

By that juncture we eight of us had became close-knit; as we were the only redeemer for eachother at those  hours. Jayesh who put his feet down the bus and was about to drown; we manage to save him and pulled him back. Till then; everything seemed as if nothing and none of us will remain.

And so to save one’s life and everyone’s life too  we started conceptualizing for further action The odds were not at all in our favour as our brain had stopped functioning; but later after a couple of long hours we could find a  way out of these. When our bus was in about the 70 degree angle drowning down I could see some stiff down there; after a long struggle I couldn’t believe my eyes; felt as if God up is actually watching over us and had extented his hands of mercy. I could see that; we were on the mountain  up high and if put a little more effort we can escape from  this grave of hell…………..

And the story continuous……………