Offing

And yet another day,
I stood to watch the dawn,
the stars up on the sky,
and bed beneath the sea.

And yet another day,
I felt in midst of the earth,
The silent dark night,
The wonder works of life.

And yet another day,
My heart filled with pride,
The beauty of the soul,
Not words could justify.

And yet another day,
I hear the sound of waves,
The lining in the sky,
The Offing for the sight…!!!

Far away but near

Far far you walk from me
Far far you stay from me

Why why my darling
Why why my darling

Far far our ways were once
But now it is one

Why you don’t understand
Why you don’t understand

Stars

Twinkle little stars
Shines up in the sky

Why my darling
You always feel shy?

Why not the earth
Makes you realize

I am waiting for you
Like a seed in the soil.

Heart’s desire

When I see your sweet smile
My heart swings
My life starts and ends

When I feel your touch
My heart sings
The melody that I am thine

When I feel your lips
My blossoms rise
It sprinkles and remembers your
Lovely sight

When I see your eyes
My soul shines
I am yours and only you’re thine.

Awesome day

Today had an awesome day, felt after ages opened up. My mind and my heart. Failed in going for confession. Had planned to go for confession today. Simple reason to decide this is because our lent season had already started and just wanted to lighten my burden. Well I woke up around 7am (because it is saturday and I wake up generally late) but then felt as if something held me back home and didnt permit me to go about making confession.

It was out of the usual that I fell asleep again and directly woke up by around 8:45am.The best part of my life was, as soon as I opened my eyes, my hubby and my son was both in front of me. Its the first time ever that I saw both their faces as soon as I rose up from my deep sleep.

Well, something in me is just breaking apart now-a-days. And the worst thing is I dont know what it is. Well, may be it is because I am moving from one phase of my life to another this year. For those who do not know; I am just married about 1.5 years back but at the same time also blessed with a baby boy in the same year. I am a mother now. Never believed and even felt that I would become one. Till 2014 I was thinking I wouldn't even get married but suddenly the table turned and my good fortune tied me up with my husband. When I talk about my husband, he is a gem. I have never seen such a man ever in my life before, he is a sweetheart. I sometimes feel I do not do justice to him. I need to work more hard towards my relationship with him.

Many a times I fail to understand him. I fail to understand his feelings, his thoughts and moreover fail to understand him. I feel somethings suffocated, I feel trapped. These are all my thoughts, because if you see in reality, I have no reasons to feel all these negative things, may be this is the reason the devil in me didnt allow me to go for confession in the morning.

I feel blessed having him as my husband,and I feel on the top of the world because of my son. My intuation says my son will turn out to be an holy perosn.

We went out for shopping,and then came home, sandwiches were made in the house for dinner, ate them and now about to sleep.

Overall had an awesome day.

A little this and a little that

Just got on to write something. Honestly do not know exactly whats going on in my mind. Just that mind isn't settled with any single thought.

Mind says yes its right
Heart say a simple no no
Mind says yes go on
Heart says no no it is wrong..!!

Where do I go
What do I do
Everything is a mistery
Somethings are pure and true

Heart says so what if its not,
Mind says yes yes I want all.
Being demanding and explict,
Is it a crime
Wandering every bit of it

Small little wonders
Small little thing
All I can do is,
GET UP AND SING
DANCE AND GO ROUND, ROUND AROUND THE WORLD.

Feeling chained up
Feeling left loose
Feeling overwhelmed
With small tiny dews

Mind says yes this is it
Hearts says its long way to go.

I know I am very jumbled and stumbling in what I am pening it down.
Apologies !!

Sandwich

Today, I felt thrilled. I went to make a sandwich and it turned out awesome. Well I prepared sandwich with a pinch of pepper, topping it up with muster sauce. Filling it up with mayonnaise, cucumber, tomato and Cabbage to wrap the shallow fried chicken ham in such a way that when a bite is taken it should be luscious.
Well will share some quick recipes of vegetable and fruit salads tomorrow.

Ending of 2nd trimester

I am on the last leg of 2nd trimester, from Saturday i.e.:- 10th May will be stepping on to my 3rd Trimester. Wow!!! I am been successful in handling all the traumas that a woman goes through.
My hubby and I planned to have a child right from day 1 of our wedding, infact we discussed about family planning soon after we got engaged. God gifted us a child in my womb on the 2nd day of our wedding. This is indeed a miracle as I see people still wanting to become parents but they are unable to.

I feel I conceived when we were in the back waters at Kerala during our honeymoon. Back waters stay during night was just an incredible experience and a thought to become parents during that night was spectacular. I prayed to God before we became one and had a wish to conceive that very day. I never knew even he was praying in his heart asking for the same GIFT; gift of our child.
We returned and soon on the 4 weeks got signs of conception. Instead of blood check we went for quick home check taking the local pregnancy strip and guess what; we understood that I have conceived. To confirm we rechecked it 2 more times and somewhat got convinced that yes I have conceived.

1st Doctors visit wasn’t that fruitful as she never asked for any check, neither anomaly check nor a blood check, and straight away wrote medicines, although I consumed all the medicines written I was still reluctant and unsure about the pregnancy.

On completion of 8th week we planned to change doctor, and here it goes, we landed up with the correct doctor I feel. Immediately she asked us to do anomaly check followed by another anomaly detailed check for the 3rd month to be done on 6th Jan 2015.

6th Jan when I saw my child in my womb I was overwhelmed seeing it moving its little limbs and body in my womb in ultra-sound anomaly check, it was about 4 inches long and hardly any structure was formed. To my mom-in-law it looked like an insect (Kidda), she kept repeating to my hubby that it’s still like an insect, where he used to bounce back answering, it is not an insect, ITS MY CHILD. Wow!! Those words encouraged me at every step till now. My hubby is with me, he loves our child as much as I do, or may be much more than I can think of.

My baby grew in my womb; still my stomach wasn’t showing up, I put on approx. 4kgs towards end of 1st Trimester. I started worrying if my baby is growing enough, because I could not feel the growth, I felt only I was growing in size and not my baby. But at the same time I used to feel hungry and so used to eat.

Towards last week of my 1st Trimester i.e.:- 12 week, those days were as equal as a nightmare to me. I felt nausea at every morsel that I took; I could smell oil in the cooked food and even smell overcooked food. The only thing I could eat was curd. Curd was life saver for me during that time, as every possible food I mixed curd and ate. Ahh, days do not remain as they are.
I stepped on to my 2nd Trimester, days changed, feelings changed and I felt suddenly energetic and full of life. Sometimes I never even felt that I am pregnant. I felt I was back normal. But the increasing weight always kept me alarmed that something/ someone is growing in me. Now this trimester I gained almost 10 kilograms, yes, I know it’s too much, but guess my body is accommodative or rather too impulsive in gaining weight. By the way it is not the first time I gained weight soon. I have the tendency to put on weight. Ups and downs were a part of my 2nd trimester.

I spotted bleeding twice this trimester; I even dreamt that I lost my child while urinating. This bought my heart in my mouth. Suddenly while bathing one day some flesh fell off, it trembled me from top till toe. I rushed to the doctor and then understood that it is called “Colips”. We went on to search the reason for Colips to appear and also to fall off and understood it was by the grace of God it fell off on its own, or else I would have had to go for an operation.

Lately last week, had travelled to remote place, when returned noticed some wetness and on checking noticed blood spotting again, I cursed myself to travel such long distance. I never want my baby to be affected in any case because of my utter stupidity. Anyway I exert so much travelling to-and-fro from my office to house. The distance between my office and house is about 56kms one way, these sums up to 112kms travel everyday via public transport.

I decided to rest my body completely and took long leave. Guess what? I am back normal, on the last leg of 2nd Trimester now. I can feel every kicks and every movement of my baby.

Had been for a routine check-up yesterday and by the grace of God our child is healthy and all okay in the womb inside. Need to intake more protein and unfortunately will have to eat non-veg a lot this trimester  (the worst food I ever want to eat). I like to be vegetarian. I love vegetarian food.

Now my baby keeps moving inside. The best part is it moves even when I am walking, hehehe love this feeling. And what makes me happier is the thought of holding my own child, my own flesh; seeing the face of my baby. May be like me or may be like my hubby.
Wow…….alas am ending my 2nd Trimester….

To be Mom and dad

Its a beautiful feeling to feel like to be mom.
Yes, I am going to become a mother, a mother of my sweet little baby. I am pregnant. Life is changing,changing for good. Today I complete 6 months of my wedding, tomorrow is my 6 months anniversary and a day after tomorrow I will be completely 6 months of my pregnancy. My child is growing in me. I have started experiencing kicks, movement and even hick-ups of my little one in my womb. When he/she moves inside, its feels like the universe in me.

My Lord, my maker is merciful to us. He has blessed us with the sign of our love. My hubby is too happy with this. My hubby is a true blessing for me; the best gift ever received by God. Never knew I will ever get a partner like him. Simple, down to earth, pleasant, understanding, loving, caring, truth worthy, confident, amazingly good nature......Ufff adjectives fall short when I go to describe him. He is the perfect match I feel I have ever received.

The best part is, without even uttering a word, he understands whats there in my mind and heart. He speaks my thoughts. It used to come as a surprise for me when I initially used to hear him asking me my problems and also at the same time advising me the solutions.

Our child is blessed with such a wonderful father I feel, who understands him/her right from the time he/she is in the womb.


My life, my new life is a blessings. Thank you Lord for it!!!

Too angry

I am too angry today; infact since last night. I am raging in this. Feel like slapping someone hard or going out to some isolated place and shout out loud. Cannot portray calm and compose posture anymore.

It feels people take undue advantage of my polite and soft behaviour towards them. It feels they think anything is ok with me. If feels they think that my words aren’t important to them, my deadlines given are all fake and everyone is with Chalta hai attitude.

I hate this behaviour of people, I hate when people take my words for granted. I am so so soo angry today.

Day 90

Ahh Sunday again!!!
I feel so good when Sunday arrives, a relaxed day, and a day when I attend the Eucharist. It has become a part of my life and I cannot go without it.

Today morning I was feeling too lethargic and feverish so few minutes thought that I should not go to the church and take rest, but something inside of me was killing me and troubling me and I couldn’t stay back when got up and went to the church.

We were celebrating ‘Parents Day’ today at church and for which he was supposed to be giving sound and be a DJ for the show. It was an awesome day. Everything went so well, his sound was a super-hit.