Feeling of being betrayed

There had been a time when I was betrayed!! Yes this is what I meant to say BETRAYED by the one whom I took close to my conscious; kept in my heart and caressed; that feelings of adolescent love had grown up in my heart like a seed in a soil; which when watered grew up slowly and steady and than it grew up to a strong stem of a tree with many strong yet long branches.

The feelings had harboured in my heart and I took that as the universe my dream land where I failed  to identify the false face of the orge libido. I was in a false paradise though!

I was shattered and had become insane; insane to such an extend that I even tried to take revenge but as it is rightly said a leapord cannot change its spot and so am I ! Though tried hard but couldn’t just couldn’t do anything wrong to that person..!! But in the heart of the heart was shattered and my hope and trust on human creatures had come to an end.

My heart was sour for everyone who came across me with those pleasant talk; I suspected to every approaches that came forward to and walk hand-in-hand untill the juncture I met ‘THE One’ my “Only one”..!

But offlet the way I felt some years ago; I felt it AGAIN !! But just for a second ! My sub-consicous mind had captured and there still remained this unfatomable pain.

Albiet, I don’t have any doubts in my mind and heart and soul; but what I felt that very moment has hurt my SOUL my LOVE to the core !!

I can never forgive myself; but am helpless as couldn’t reason it !! My reaction; my behavior I cannot justify !! But all I know is I cannot hurt my love anymore !! I wish I could rewind those moments and uproot that very thought / doubt that crossed my mind ! But am helpless; nothing can I do  to be forgiven! Nothing can I do to bring back that sunshine smile of my love; my heart; my Life….!!!

Now, I have become the reason for him to feel betrayed…and this is taking away my life…!!!!!

Note : I am extremly sorry for the mistake that i committed !! Please forgive me !!