Strange feeling and a strange dream

I have a very strange feeling in my heart today. Very strange!!

I am feeling as if I will be loosing something very soon, very soon I will be unhappy.

But cannot prefigure what is that going to be. It feels as if a mangy dog is just around me; smelling me and making me feel as if I have done some great great mistake and so inducing to feel ignominy.

Is it that the journey of my life is diverting? Or is that I am moving away from someone close?? Cannot; just cannot understand the irony of life’s twisted story.

I had dreamt around 4 days back which I found it very very suprising. Let me share with you the same.

I entered a lift  and I wanted to go on the 5^th floor of some building (couldn’t recollect the name of the building). When the door got closed the lift started pulling upwards but I wasn’t able to press the button of the 5^th floor; it made me fall in teribble fear. But later 2 men standing beside me; and they helped me to step out of the lift; where the opened the upper part of it and asked to jump off.

It was very difficult for me to jump as the lift that opened; it opened to a platform where there were trains arriving. I somehow managed to get onto the platform.

Later, the entire scene was twisted and I saw myself later running of the train. The train that I was running for was already in motion and was about to leave the platform. I runned like a dog and finally managed to board the train. I tried looking for occupying a seat and then had a safe journey.

I feel that this dream has an equivocal interpretation.  Really don’t know why did I dream such; but definitely it has something in store. May be something good or may be something extremely bad……….!!!

Subhash Chandra Bose

Hope everyone who is reading here knows this great HERO who worked hard to bring freedom for our country and because of his great contribution our country is called as Independent his name is “Subhash Chandra Bose”.

In today’s fasten world where everything is moving at the ultimate pace has forgotten this great personality.

His full name is Subhash Chandra Bose which was pronounced as ‘Shubhash Chondro Bosh’. He was born on 23^rd January 1897 in Cuttack, Orissa. His parent’s names were Janakinath Bose and Prabhabati Debi.

In his group of freedom fighters he was known as ‘Netaji’.

He is presumed to have died on 18^th August 1945 in a plane crash in Taiwan, however there is no evidence of his death on that day and investigations were on but still there are no clues of him to be death.
It was a prejudice that he knew black magic and knew to become invisible, yet this is no where mentioned in the history of this great man.

He was imprisoned by British authorities for about 11 times and his famous motto which kept him motivated all through his journey to freedom was “Tum mujhe khoon do mein tumhe aazadi dunga” (“Give me blood and I will give you freedom”).

On the out-set of the war, he left India and had been to several countries to come together to fight against British government.

He had been to meet Mr. Hitler at Germany where there were many Hind Fauj (Indian Army) present, asking them to be relieved so that they can fight against British.

He has also been to Japan to ask them to join hands to fight against the common enemy British Government.

Eventually with all his great efforts put to meet different South-eastAsian countries, he managed to re-organize and form Azad Hind Fauj also called as Indian National Army with Indian prisoners-of-war.

Netaji was arrested and was sent to prison in Mandalay where he encountered tuberculosis.

To take you to his personal side, he was married to an Australian woman, who worked with him as his secretary Emilie Schenkl in 1937. With her, they had a daughter whom they named as Anita Bose, she was born in the year 1942, when Bose was leading the Azad Hind Fauj and this never gave him time to spend with his family and his daughter.

He gathered his courage and was inspired by ‘Bhagwat Gita’.

According to me;

“Only one outstanding personality of India took a different and violent path, and in a sense India owes more to him than to any other man”

Monochromatic approach to life---Realised on my birthday

It is surprising for me that I have turned 26yrs old today. I used to loved to be called as 25yrs old, yes I am not kidding but I used too. Now, I can no more called as 25yrs old and no young any more. I am heading to an age; where everyone around is settling in their life's and what about me?? Well, no signals of settling neither any signal of further career growth.


I am surprised to see myself as monochromatic and yet steady in whatever I am doing. I am surprised to see all these lovely changes in my life. I am no more the way I used to be, but my heart is contented.

I see my dressing sense has changed, when I was 15 I used to love dressing up in those western outfit and used to love wearing it, and now; shall not tell you but shall surely put up my pic to give you gest about my dressing now.

No more the way I was and used to be............but still happy and content..!! Isn't this like a magic of someone's love for me ????

Only 5 days to go……….

I have a heavy breath now and counting days. No, not for anything else but this time it is for my birthday that is arriving.

Like every year this time too I tried rewinding my memory and taking a year back. My last birthday gift from my love is unforgettable, and I still feel that I hold that as a sweet memory in my heart. My tabernacle had become violent,yet marvelous and the most clandestine.

I just loved / love my birthday gift last year.

Today, I am rewinding my year right from that time onwards; my last birthday in the year 2010.

I and he had started my year together; although never expected but, it was a sudden surprise for me that this happened. But, just for a 1 day’s happiness had obliterated both of our happiness. Guess its mending now!

Left my previous job, in the month of November with 2 months prior notice. Yes, I will not deny that I did not like that place. I liked it and learned a lot but because they did not trust my guy’s capability and did partiality towards him, broke my trust in them.

Now how hard I try I cannot confide in them for anything in future, not for him and not for me too.

Later joined another organization starting with the name ‘D’..uffffff cannot explain how horrible and pitiful  I found myself during those 17 days in that organization.

Later was at home for about 1 ½ months. Had the regular routine for college.

Something exceptional happened during that juncture. I helped my brother in his business for about a month; where I could actually streamline his business and show him his books of accounts.

And finally joined the organization that I am in !!

Albeit it was a Sabbatical vacation for me, but the most painful juncture of my life; where there was no incomings but only outgoings. I had no source of income but my expenses were the same as had the regular routine of my day on, infact with additional activities.

No ATM card,  No shopping, No outing and No fun; but I feel that this one year has left an imprint in my life, rend my heart into pieces and has taught me how to stand-up even falling hundred times and also to wear a smile all the while.

Now in just another 5 days would be entering a new fresh year of my life, and this day will make me 26 yrs old. Cannot believe that time is flying like a breeze; just touching at the edge of my body and moving away; not even allowing to breath properly or even think on those lines of improvement.

There is a tremendous change but yes I am happy with it. This is making me stronger day by day. The inner strength of soul and the courage to hold up everything is becoming vital to understand and implement.

Now, where do I stand in my career life ?? And the answer that I get from my conscious is back to the starting point, from where I started almost 5 yrs ago from Aramex to DHL to ICICI Prudential  to Seaspan and now at Orange. The salary that I drew in DHL and the salary in the present organization is the same.

I was very happy in the year 2008 when I jumped thrice the salary that I drew with  Aramex; but I am asking to myself; Am I justifying my career life?? Have no answer yet, but the question has clicked in my heart.

But, have made certain resolutions for my year to come:

1)      Have enough bank balance.

2)      Study hard and clear with flying colors.

3)      Learn some more good recipes where I can cook for him.

4)      And last but not the least grow in career and reach and cross the position that I held in my pervious orgn.

Hoping for the best and I know that I can do it.

“Life gives a lot; and takes back some too. I will get; what I own.”

Misunderstanding creates a barrier

Today I had a heated argument with someone; this someone is not very close, yet not someone who is of distance even. This someone is my own colleague, with whom I spend almost more than half of my day; in the office for 9 hours and also while travelling to office to and fro.

But, you must be wondering why am I writing it out here? Yes, the reason is that the argument was for some silly reason.

It is very exceptional for me to become angry or vent my anger on anyone (offcourse except my family and my would be).

Then too I still couldn’t control over my heated temperature and had burst out on him in the morning.

There was some system error in the morning and we had an argument on it, I don’t lie which my colleagues knows it very well and I also mentioned to him with a calm tone that I had done the assignment at hand, I assumed that he was suspecting me that I might be telling him a lie as he was very arrogant infact sarcastic (I felt), may be he wasn’t and did not intend to. And this misunderstanding created a barrier in our cordial relations at office.

With this I understand the importance of INTERPRETATION. For one single instance there can be different interpretations; this might work out most of the times, but there are instances where we will fall on our nose if we try to dig the matter more and try getting into it. I left it on him to think or react the way he wants to.

With this I remember that there is one more person in my office with whom I am not even civil. Although the bitterness from my heart is gone totally, but from her side I am clueless. However now I am so far away from that person that I don’t feel emptiness without her not talking to me.

Life is unpretictable right? But, I feel it is very much unpredictable!! I am surprised to see so many changes in my life past few years. What I was, what I have become, and  cannnot prefigure what I will be !!

So I feel that I should leave aside all the prejudice from my concious and live for today..!

Happy to see that the problems in my life are resolving now, but cannot predict anything, as it might lead to misunderstanding and that can lead to barriers……….!!!

Something’s were left unsaid

There was something exceptional today.  Today made me realize the importance of a true friend my best friend who is my love too, about a relationship and also about something special.

I know it must be pretty confusing to understand what I have mentioned above.  Well let me put it this way………….

When I realized it’s time now

 Understood its way beyond

Something’s were left unsaid

But still felt the waving sound

Wanted him to understand me

My feeling for him that is beneath

But guess that love wasn’t enough

And he made me a kerfuffle!

Hope one day he will understand

What is he for me and;

Where does he stand!

I love him more than anything that exists

He is my best friend

He is my life

My feelings for him are growing strong

But still you do not believe me this pokes lots of thorn

Love you love you with all my heart

My love please never ever part!!

He is everything for me; but at times I fail to express. May be after reading this he will understand, or maybe he knows everything but still troubles me so that I become strong. Whatever the case may be but I love him a lot.