Terrific fret --> 1

It was that late night and it was jet dark, only the headlight of the vechicle was visible; the bus driver was managing to drive down the street with mountains holding up high on both the sides of the road. We in the bus were cracking hilarious jokes and were in fulswing of our mood as we were returning from a picnic.

As we travelled  somewhat safe distance we could smell something; it wasn’t a common smell but was smelling as if something is burned / burning; it was the smell of the fire; but still we ignored it and asked the bus driver to increase the cooling of the airconditioner. As I always sit at the left hand side of the bus and could easily view the outside road; my eyes caught the terrific scene which was happening at a 20 feet distance. It was a huge bucollic village burning, it was such a horrifying scene and everyone’s heart came into their mouth looking at such. We were passing through the same road and witnessed the fire. It looked like as if it was a village/ place of katevadi’s. There was not even a single vehicle other than ours passing through that lane. It was as if our eyes met with a monster and there was a sudden silence in the bus. None of us could identify or recongise that juncture. It was for the first time I witnessed myself in such a delima; did not know how to move further and what should be the next step. After I was out of the blues of my own thought process I turned my attention to the bus driver; he was sweating, confused and lost, fear mounted up in his heart which could be easily identified he was fearing to move ahead; he was so confused that he lost his way back home. As it was jet dark with nothing visible ahead. We could see only till at a distance as far as the burning fire could throw the light; it was although visible to the nacked eyes but the inner consicous was in great fear that couldn’t understand and articulate and understand. He then diverted the way and drove down the soft soil; we didn’t realise it untill we could feel that the bus isn’t moving ahead. We were stucked in the mid of the farm of a nearby village.

As it was too dark ahead with no moon on the top and with no one on that lonely road. We stayed there until next morning and realised that we were in the mid of the mud-iland……. This  registered in our hearts like a hole in one’s heart…

And the story continuous……………

Distinct use of odd ways..

I came up with the topic just instantly; honestly I do not know why this topic came up in my mind. But yes, what I want to write down today; can very easily be explained with the topic Distinct use of odd ways..

Everyone have some odd way to deal with situations and with circumstances; and also knows  to tackle their own difficulties and problems. To start with let me tell you with instances...

Begger : A begger who do not have a shed to cover their head; has its own way to tackle around with the changing weather like raining season they know how to take a shed by sleeping either under the roof of a big showroom or the railway stations.

Adolescent age group : These age group of people or rather children have their own way of dealing with the complaints of their teacher, with the familes of their friends.

I remember in school; when teacher used to write a remark in the calender and we were asked for parents signature, most of the class-mates practiced of signing the remark themselves. It was fun at that age but now can understand the depth and gravity of the situation what it could have been.

Teenager : This is the favourite group of people that I would love to emphasis on. Yes, because once upon a time I loved this age of mine and had great fun. The kind of non-sense jokes that we used to crack; and yes the small-small lies that my friends used to tell at home to hang-out with their boyfriends. I used to wonder why they used to do that.

Then, later these insane and meaningless jokes used  to lighten-up the place. And when encoutered complain; everyone had their own way of tackling around with it; as if they are the only one educated and knowledgeable and rest others are all without a system which functions on the top most part of your body…..confused…I am talking about our brain.

Elderly people : Yes this is the age which I am long awaiting  to write of, no not because I have anything great of rather anything worst to write about. But I wonder what do these people  think about when they actually explain their children about the world.

Yes upto a certain extend they are right; but not always necessary. (no offence, its just what I feel).  Everyone has their own way to tackle around with their difficulties and so these people have. Like dealing with their children at different age group, dealing with their work, family life and above all, dealing with people who are elder to them.!!

Working executives: I belong to this group, I will want to share how do I tackle with difficult situations; ohh if I  talk about difficult situations there are many. Let me count, the difficulties at home, at work, in personal life etc etc etc. Maybe it is for all, or maybe only for me, but yes everyone has their own difficulties.

Like at work, it is most important to know what to do be at what time, offcourse other things follow suit. And if stucked in any situation, either be in the system and change the system or stand in front of everyone and accept your own fault. Uffff too much yaar….let me just stop my insane explaination here………..and leave rest on you to think and comtemplate further about the labythrine situation.

Still something is missing……

I have cleared my second semester exam of MHRDM and will be approaching to the third semester. Till the time I had not been admitted in this master course I was eager to go ahead with this as had high expectation. But since I am in  the midway of the course, I am still not satisfied. I really don’t know what do I want to do ahead and where is my destination.

I feel something is missing, my heart owes for something else and I am moving in some other direction. But why such emptiness and why such eagerness to go ahead???

The field that I want to enter is day-by-day far from my reach; and my breath is becoming heavy to achieve that. Although this is an exciting juncture for me and many good things are expected to be ahead, my mind and soul still craving for something that is missing, missing in me…

But why such ? Maybe because I had no one to guide me when I was young, or maybe my flocks must have guided me but I was ignorant and innocent and didn’t have the capacity to understand the dept of the knowledge world. My mind was not that matured enough to understand the teachings of the elderly cronies around or maybe no one attempted to guide me…..or something such….!!!

But what should be done now? And how do I move in the direction that my heart would be contend and would be willing to move further. I know where do I want to go, but roads are blocked or rather too away. It feels that I am at one end of world and my destination at the other end with a large ocean in between; with no boat of hope remaining to sail me through my way…

Am I being  too philosophical ?? No, not at all ….I am very emotional today and really do not know why such when I have actually cleared my second semester and moving ahead with the degree of MHRDM………..!!!!

Different meaning of tiredness……..

When we say we are tired; what do we actually try to portray when we say that we cannot do anything anymore, or rather what does tired mean?

Confused?? Yes I know that you are trying to understand as to what am I trying to ask or conclude by asking such insane question?

Accordingly to me, there is nothing called as tired in real, but yes becoming tired is virtual. Virtual as in; have you ever observed for yourself that whenever you are engrossed in a work or a task that you are enjoying, you must have not felt the need to rest but must have enjoyed working for hours together and with great fun and joy? On the other hand if you are working on a project which is not of your interest you must have become tired very soon or may be at some saturated point?

The second possible meaning could be, and especially in a corporate industry where there are many people working on the same project, here we would want to refrain oneself of becoming the scapegoat for the errors that others could possibly commit at the time of the project execution and so we believe and feel that we are tired.

In both the above cases I am trying to say is that tiredness is a state of mind, and it is all only in the mind. If one wants to feel tired he/she can easily become tired on the other hand if one wants to work can work throughout.

With this, I remember examples of people who work non-stop and don’t even realize that they are being working for hours at a go.

 Namely the software developers (this I came up because I know one friend who works for hours together and doesn’t realize that he is still awake). He is a software developer by profession, we used to work for the same organization and I used to wonder how he does this!!! He can work for about 2 days (48 hrs) continuously without a break; no really I am not exaggerating!! It is true!!(Best wishes for him).

The second professionals I have come across are the 3D artist or in that matter anyone related to the creative field. As we all know creativity cannot be compared or measured it has its own charm!!

I can say about this is because even my brothers do not sleep at times and I feel that they are not human beings but Robots!

The reason for the about examples are; why we the corporate industry people do not enjoy our work and we keep on creeping that we become tired exactly after 8 – 9 hours of our job when it is time to leave the office? Why don’t we too take the responsibility and enjoy our day-to-day activities and do not allow this term tired to even cross our minds…..????? 

Resolution for Life

I wonder at times why have I taken this birth ? Where do I come from?

Where was I before this birth and where will I be once I close my eyes and rest in peace? Life is just amazing, but what will happen after I leave this mortal world ? What do we consider an end is it truly the end ??? And the most important thing what is the purpose of my life………??

Though I am not a very religious person and neither do I have a great knowledge about the “TRUTH OF LIFE” but the only thing that I can say is, that every person has a purpose of life and is in this life to fulfil the same.

With this I remember that I had been to a person who is well qualified with the study of stars and the universe. One of my friend referred me to him; and with great enthuthiasm I had been to meet him. He studied my birthdate with birth-time and finally came to the conclusion that I am in  this life with the purpose to serve elderly people. Though he couldn’t be specific as to what does ‘elderly people’ actually includes but yes this is what he mentioned to me.

After contemplating on this for a very long, and trying to find an answer to my own questions, I came up with the conclusion that may be this life is a reason for me to take care of my parents (in-laws included) and look after them, along with that every elder person that I come across…..

May be I am right !!! or may be I am wrong…..!! But for my own satisfacation I accept this as a resolution for my life……………

Witness to First rain

Every year I wish and long to see and feel the first rain, but unfortunately used to miss it out. Either I used to be at home or in the school or at office; but this time I witnessed; and felt the first rain. It feels so relaxing, exciting and refreshing..!!

My workstation is next to the window and as the office that I work for is on the 5^th floor I have the leverage to peep out of the window at an ease. The view outside is so amazing, the medows of grass are  so encouraging, can even view mahada area, so in a way I get to see the greenary along with huge residential area across. However, the clouds running to and for on the sky can be seen easily.

Yesterday somewhere around in the afternoon one of my colleague prompted that its raining and so with that great excitement I happened to move my eyes out of the computer screen and look out. You wouldn’t believe it was just amazing. God had created this world so beautiful that everything that we do and whatever we are can be related to the environment. IT WAS DRIZZLING.

Well, with it I also remember that we have a new joinee in our department. She is just new to this corporate world, a fresher out from the college!! So fresh, bubbly and also a bit confused as how to relate herself to this working envirornment. May be she will try to relate her college life with the office life….or may be she will be looking forward for someone of her wavelength, however and whatever it may be she will have to adjust with the situation one day and get acquited.

Similarly, like this new joinee, the rain “The first rain” of  this year is!! Did you get my point..?? I guess no, so here I explain what I mean to say.

As the world, our land is so much heated up with the summer season that everything around, the trees, the soil, the roads, WE (humanbeing) everything everything has become used to;  to the dry environment, from winter season to summer season, and now with the rain falling (drizzling) it will have to adjust with the environment and make everyone feel its presence in the heated climate and make everyone comfortable with its presence.

The smell of the mud on the roadside is so lovely; it feels as if to literally go and eat it..ooppss but unfortunately I cannot..!!! Anyway the clouds has wrapped the entire sky in it in such a way that the sun now need to say “excuse me” and just peep on the earth and making everyone aware of the fact that he is still there, existing and it is still his TIME, asking us to acknowledge that its still summer and yet to finish…!!

I love this climate and would love if it start raining heavily so that can get a chance of becoming wet in it...!

Billrun fever..........!!!!

The very first time when I heard about the word “Billrun” from my friend Lisha I did not understand. Can you relate this word to any day-to-day activities of your life ?

No !! right ?? Neither did/ could  I untill I joined this organization  !!

Alright, now instate of building up a mountain on sand and increasing your curiosity and leaving you in confusion, let me tell what is the meaning of “Billrun”. Even I understood only after I joined this organization “Orange Business Services”.

Well, now I am working in a Billling dept where we have bills generating every mid of the month. The day when all the bills are generated, that very day is called “Billrun day”. Simple, right ??

Today is our billrun day, and I could see everyone’s situation  tight and tardy! Though everyone want to finish their work on time and running and running to complete their task.

Oh!! With the word running; I remember the humor that I cracked at those initial days that I had joined. Let me share with you the same.

“Billrun stands for  - Mr. Bill please run…….run fast…!!!”

Yes this is what exactly everyone feels and is been told to do, but just to replace the name Bill with individual’s name….individual means individual Billing Analyst.

Running is what we all have to do on this day;  the virtual running where there is hell lot of work on the table to be completed and very little time as  we are being given cut off time..!

But the unity that I have experienced here is just unbelievable; the manager, the colleagues and everyone RUN to achieve the same goal……

Here in this dept I personally have experienced / experience a great joy, that touches my soul directly and refreshes my mind…….!!

I love  this unity and everything surrounding me here….and also I am loving this day “BILRUN”!!!!

Adorable Girl

If I rewind my memory and go a year back; I could recollect those images and memories of a girl whom I met somewhere around in the month of March. Though I met her only twice but still that girl has left an imprint of her image in my conscious.

Yes, before I could meet her I had heard a lot about her from someone very close to her. I had an idea how this girl will be, but when I met her for the first time in the hospital, could feel the vibration of her very strong, attractive and appealing soul.

She is a very simple yet attractive girl, with a broad smile and the ability to cheer everyone around her.

I couldn’t control myself and I spoke to her a lot that day, without even thinking and knowing her interest.

This is a girl whom I adore a lot, never had a courage to confess my respect for her. Yes, now you will feel why do I consider this as confess and not profess my feelings ? This is the irony of my relation with her.

Though my heart always prays for her, but without her knowledge.

I do follow her silently and shall always do…………!!!

Though would like to mention her name………but still do not have the courage…….hope she gets my point and understand that its none other …..But .............!!!!!!

Eyes – A gate to soul..

Your eyes are a gate to your soul,

I enter in it and thus you make me whole.

You are so precious,  you are mine

Please be with me even if my life declines..!!

The ocean out; is so huge and vast

The  roaring waves; I have asked to be at a par,

Let it pass my message to you;

That my love for you is forever true..!!

Forever true, forever true

Please accept my gift of the stars

            And the lovely sky so blue….

Nothing can I do, nothing can I give

My life you own; for you I am born !!

Count the stars up, if ever you can…

And if you fail too; that’s how my love for you stands..!!

Can’t See you like this………..

Cant see you like this

My heart breaks into pieces

My love please calm; these problem I will fix…

Can’t see you like this….!!!

Life without you is so pale

To live without you is like a jail.

Please do not hesitate

Come closure lets embrace..!!

Can’t see you like this

In trauma and in great pain

Can’t see you like this

In anxiety and distress..!!

My soul rejoices; when I see you smile

And gets courage to face turmoil.

Please relax and have faith

I am only yours for life ahead….!!!

A horror night…….in the year 2009…..!!

Here I am to share with you a true incident which we (6 of us) have faced and witnessed in the year 2009…….hope this is not frightening for you all…..!!!!!!

Names have been changed to hide identity :  Sam – The owner of the house, Roy, Mukesh, Jack, Eric and I.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We 6 of us entered the farm house; we managed to change our clothes and then Sam, Roy and Mukesh went to get some stuff to eat and drink and meanwhile Eric and me went in the kitchen to cook sorpotel.

Later, we both went on the terrace as it was adjacent to the kitchen and also check and enjoy the breeze of that late evening (around 1900 hours); as it was too dark we lit a big candle and took it along. It was just amazing as the breeze was directly hitting our cheeks, it was a full moon night and everything looked to be very pleasant and loving. As it was the month of May; we could even see some clouds were moving to and fro. The candle couldn’t stand straight and the flame was flickering…..we were hoping that the candle shouldn’t extinguish and so we thought of going down. Eric closed the gate of the terrace and then we stepped down and moved back in the kitchen.

When we came down within another 5 minutes we heard a big sound of the terrace metal door banging!! it was too frightening for me as just few minutes before I was pretending and was trying to act as if it would be a horror night. Eric made me at ease explaining that the door must have banged because of the breeze that was too strong. Though I wasn’t convinced I still managed to understand what he explained. Eric is a person who doesn’t believe in any other spirit other than the Lord almighty.He went up alone and closed the door and came down.

The second twist was; later after around 10 minutes; someone knocked the door very strongly from out; I went to open the door assuming it must be Sam, Mukesh and Roy returned. But what ??? As soon as I opened the door there was nobody at the front door; looking at this Eric again tried to console me and opened the rear door from the kitchen; again we found out that there was no one out there too…….. J

We took that as a joke and laughed out loud and then continued with our cooking.

Within another couple of minutes all 3 of them returned. And as planned we went on the terrace and sat down on a carpet we had laid.

The initial topics we broached were the most common among guys about the video games and some movies etc etc.....and everyone around other than Jack and me( as we do not consume alcohol) were in high spirits after consuming alcohol. We were watching the sky above as the clouds looked as if it took us in his wide arms. It looked as if the clouds and the moon were playing a hike and seek game.It was a pleasant night with the moon whole and round and there was a strong breeze and with it we could see clouds of different shape and size which looked like pictures of different animals and some unexpected stuff which we couldn’t relate to!!!!

Everything was hinting us to beware but we still did not realise the importance of it !!

Sam saw the last image; it was in the shape of a boy drinking from a glass; he (Sam) directed everyone’s attention to the cloud that was right beside the moon……BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT???….as soon as that cloud dissolved, the moon vanished…..yes it did VANISH….at that juncture there were no clouds neither the moon and the sky was clear like a blue blanket spread over us.

We all did not pay much attention until the juncture when Roy who was sitting on our opposite direction could see a shawdow of a man moving to and fro on the wall opposite to him and right behind me, Sam and Mukesh.

I still remember the fear that had mounted up in everyone’s eyes especially in our eyes who could see them. It was Roy, Sam and me.

After somewhile Sam saw an another shadow strolling on the left hand side where we were sitting. It was horrible and just too frightening and we did not know how to escape from that very place.

We were about ½ kilometer away from the main road. The farm house was surrounded by big banayan trees and an upcoming well at a distance of 10 feet away which was again open and too scary if seen in the night. And after this everything around us was looking too scary!!

It was around 2 am and we saw a private passenger bus passing far away on the road; the light of that bus was so strong that it could hit the walls of the terrace; when this happened Sam and Roy could hear 2 people fighting and when everyone turned around; we were the only 6 people existing there and visible to our naked eyes !

We tried playing God’s hymn in our cell phones to run away from this fear of being killed by these evil spirits and win over our own preception but all in vain; the fear had mounted up so high that we could think of nothing but awaiting for the sunrise and when we would see the morning light.

Just to divert everyone’s mind we came up with some stupid topics to be discussed but still everyone of us had the fear at the back of our minds.

All this while even though I was very scared I was  trying to console Sam and when I turned around I could see the shadow of a man sitting right up beside the water tank with his legs crossed staring at us. This gave me a big shock of my life as it was for the first time that I could see a spirit…!!!

After a very long time we managed to sleep for somewhile with no one having the guts to move from that place leaving the troop and be alone. When the sun was about to rise; Sam could feel someone pulling him up and as soon as he woke up he could see no one around; when he checked his shoulders he could see the red fingerprints……!!!

It was about 4:10 in the morning and the wall clock stopped around that time and the altar light went off.

This horror night had left its imprint in my mind and may be of the others present there too………..!!!!