Day 92

Today felt like talking to him a lot. I was dreaming about something, wanted to share with him. Wanted to share with him my wish-list; wanted to tell him that I am feeling insecure about something unknown. But couldn’t tell him, he was busy with his work, busy with his upcoming shows. May be next time I would definitely share.

It was a tiring day at work as well, I am totally exhausted. One of my colleagues is getting redundant from his post, learned new from another colleague. Feeling too bad to know about this; life is so much unpredictable and so is our private organization’s job. We do not know when the organization would decide that they do not need us and ask us to leave. He too must be going through same trauma I believe. Although I never confronted him about this because I feel he wouldn’t be comfortable talking about it. I just truly hope he find something better and really worth.

Nothing is permanent in life and so does our feelings, one day it is so vibrant and the other day it is negative.

Went to my fiancé house and completed my remaining day’s job as do not have a computer at home to work. Unfortunately it is being damaged and now given away to someone else by my brother.

Sometimes I find it so difficult to work from home as I feel helpless and handicap with no computer/ laptop at home; every time I have to borrow his computer and I feel I have become shameless asking over and over again.
He went to the church for arranging his sound and due to some technical issues he came in home extremely late. That’s his usual routine when he is out for his shows; I’ll have to get into the habit of sleeping alone at nights because he will be at his work during that time. I hate sleeping alone; rather am scared of sleeping alone. I mostly sleep with my mom, but after marriage that will also be not possible.

Eventually couldn’t share my wish-list with him. I am sure he will be busy even tomorrow as he will again go to the church.