Day 101

Love is in the air, I can feel it, I can sense it; I can see it.

Today I experienced the best and healthy discussion with him; a discussion where he was thinking only about me; my happiness, my views were important to him. He didn’t explicitly mention about it but I understood.

I never knew I’ll be so much important to someone, that ONE with whom I will be spending my life with - my soul mate. It gives me immense happiness, happiness that is unmeasurable.

I cannot believe myself planning about future, future living with my in-laws, with my-husband leaving back my house, which will be soon be called as my maiden ‘s house, ooppss did I say it? Oh yes I did; because that’s exactly it will be called as. Changing my name, my identity for someone, the only one my husband, my better-half.

He is so adorable, the more I love him, the less I feel. When I look at him, I forget the world, when he is around me; I feel the world is with me. He doesn’t touch me, but I feel his touch. He doesn’t hug me, but I feel his warmth. He doesn’t hold me, but I feel comforted. I never knew even such feelings exit, a pure feeling of being loved by someone.

I complain to him why he doesn’t love me; but honestly, I know how much he loves me and looks forward for me. I know my value in his life. How much ever I write about him will be less. I feel blessed. God answered my prayers, he is merciful to me and that’s why gifted me with such a precious gift.

I sign-off from day 101. Shall let you know about day 100.

Count Down Begins – Day 102

Here I am after so long. The reason is very simple; I am too excited for my upcoming wedding. My dream of becoming a bride is finally coming true. The thought of becoming a bride on OUR DAY is just too pleasing.

102 day left for my wedding, all too excited and too confusing. Lot of things are pending and a lot more to be done.

Today mumma (my mom) and mummy (his mom) both met the priest and booked our wedding mass.

Ahh it seems now that our shoe-lace is tied and we are on the marks to run.

See you tomorrow with other things.

1st Valentine Day’s Celebration

A day full of joy, a day full of excitement and a day full of love, this was the day, my day!!, my valentine gifted me.

Everything was unexpected, it seemed unrealistic. Its am amazing feeling to be loved by someone so deeply and so dearly, and am glad I am on the receiving end of such a pure love, from a pure soul. He ensures my every second is filled with love; his mere presence fills my heart with joy and laughter.

Had been out for a dinner, although not in real, but I acted as if I was upset with him, ahh guess had hurt him a lot just a previous day with my insane behaviour. I feel bad about it and have decided will never do this again with him.

Loved my valentine gift that I received, well this is for the 1st time someone gifted me on this day, felt the touch of love. This unseen love is so beautiful. Although I was dating someone for more than 3 ½ yrs never celebrated Valentine day together. I heard the unsaid words, untouched hands, and speaking eyes. Mom gave me the best gift ever in my life by choosing him to be my soul-mate, my husband.

‘Mr. Perfect’ this is what I would call him. Perfect in every aspect, he knows very well what I like, he knows very well what I would love, I wonder is it so easy to know someone so well so early?

My 1st Valentine Celebration………..ufff was indeed a memorable day !!

Take away my breath

Your smile takes away my breath
Brings you closer to me step by step
Although never u said but I heard
Your gestures your demeanour I love
you are winning my heart like a gambling game
Your love is spreading over me like gangrene
I love this dreadful spread
Please envelop please embrace!!

Change is for good

Never knew that happiness is stored within us and is not depended on someone’s presence in our life. Over past few months I unattached and all alone, felt bad, depressed and even left out but as days are passing I can feel that I can be happy only because of my own self. I can sing, dance and roam around the places with my own consent. It feels am free; no one to answer to, no one to question and absolutely no one to suspect your intention.

After more than 3 ½ yrs of togetherness suddenly to feel alone, felt like a curse to me. Missed some days spend together, missed those fights, sugar coated talks and even fingers in between my fingers when we hold hands. Felt disheartened. Felt abandoned. Felt as if Life was put upside down. But it was my decision, after a lot of thinking I had decided to move on, and therefore convinced myself and spent each coming days of my life after the separation.

Some months later I saw the light out of the jet dark tunnel. Met my soul-mate (I assume for now). He entered my life, forgiving and ignoring all the wrongs that I have done in past, he agreed to still hold my hands and walk together with me the long journey of his life.
It seemed to me like an illusion for some-time; I assumed it is all fake but now I realise he is serious when he hold my hands. Suddenly life had speeded up and events are multiplying, feeling the zeal of encountering the unseen and unexpected.
Am very happy now that I took the decision of moving on and starting a fresh new life, experiencing the love that I deserve, love for my own self, loving someone else, being loved by someone else. I am very happy…………..

It’s the perfect saying, if there are problems in life that means, “The movie will still go on………..”

There is always a happy ending to everything that starts under the roof of heaven.

The tall building

No matter rain or winter or harvest
This building doesn’t crave for any rest
It gets wet; it faces sun burn but still stands straight

Colorful clothes hanging, trees even bending
Window planks are black, transparent and even sheltering
Beautiful interior, still no filter,
Accepts all and rejects non
This tall building doesn’t have fun.

It Shelters like a mother’s love
Protects like father’s care

I live on the 13th floor,
It shows me the view; it hides all my tears,
It helps me to overcome the volcano’s fear.
I love this tall building, I wish I was it
With no emotions and with full dedication!!

Dual between Heart & Mind

With every waking mornings there is a tough dual between my heart & my mind. My heart says forgive and forget, mind says move on.

Well but everytime it is the heart that wins. Time and again heart wins. Why? Am I so weak ?Or Am I too strong? Believe it depends on the perception of different minds.

Is it the I am so much aquainted with my present state that I dont like a change, am I not adjusting? Am I not acommodative? Or am simply too impulsive?
Human nature is so unpredictable. So dynamic that we sometimes fail to understand our ownself...... and so therefore the DUAL...

Never thought of a time without you

I never thought of a time when you wouldnt be with me
I never thought of a time alone.

It pains and pricks and create bruises
It even hurt my soul
I never thought of a time for seperation
I thought of a time of togetherness
I long to seek your toes

Why life is all about emotions
Why life is all about creation

I never thought of a time without you
I cherish every course..

No time without you will I ever live.
All my thoughts all my life.........is yours

So what I still do

You come and go and say none
So what the clouds doesn’t go?
So what God doesn’t bestow
So what our eyes pour out; the precious pearl below?

So what the dawn does not come?
So what grey line appear
So what heart cries out loud?
So what there is a silent shout?

I will be happy always
Even it doesn’t sound?
I will love always
Even if I am betrayed
I will keep hopes high
Without considering the deeds that was sly

So what…………..

I am with myself

Life is always not the way we look at it. Don’t know why past few days I should be sad that my relationship in on the rocks but still my heart is calm, happy and overwhelmed (exaggerated). He and I were fighting like cats & dogs and suddenly immediately after my birthday stopped speaking to each other, the reason is unknown though, but yes that’s the case. We message each other (rare case). I have no idea where is this courtship leading, whether we are together or already parted. Few months back we were planning for a lifelong committed and suddenly this disaster. Although I have no regrets but still mind confusing to such an extent that sometimes I take time to contemplate. My little self-respect from some corner of my conscious is speaking with me over past few days; it is stopping me to bend more, and asking me to move on in life. My self-respect, to whom, I did not listen past few years and kept on suppressing and avoiding. I want to live happy, I want to stay happy. I really don’t want to be sad anymore. It is very difficult to understand my own behavior my own feelings, but one thing I know is I want to be happy. My New Year resolution since 23rd August my birthday is to be happy, no matter what. No matter who stays with me and whoever leaves me. Want to go back to the carefree attitude that I used to carry and a lot of self-respect deep inside my heart, my life and my conscious. I want to love myself again, love the way I used to love myself ages ago. My dear friends - self-respect and my dignity, I am with you this time, I am with you!!!

Searching..

“A human-being is not a human-being if the purpose of life isn’t met when it mixes back with the soil”. Its 7th of the month in few days I would be leaving back another year of my life and would become 28 yrs old. Sometimes I feel I have accomplished my purpose of being a human, but there are many a times I feel there are many things that are still incomplete, unachieved and can never be achieve. I feel so so sad by contemplating on these thoughts. I am in search of my soul, the purpose for my life. I know if someone is following my post they must have read this several times in my pervious blogs but trust me I haven’t found my purpose. I am in search of it. As the days pass-by, my thirst of wanting increases to reach the equilibrium. There are many things that I cannot accomplish due to my growing age, therefore searching for something that God has planned for me to do.